The other day I was waiting patiently for an elevator, in a busy shopping mall, and behind me were a couple of twenty something year old guys, furiously fidgeting on their mobile phones, paying little attention to much else except the speed of their thumb messaging and reflections in a storefront mirror. The lift finally made its way up towards us, and as the doors slid open, the pack behind me stormed in (SEAL ambush style) brushing aside a group of elderly ladies, like skittles on a bowling lane. I could see the utter disgust and resentment smeared across the women’s faces as they finally managed to re-group and exit the lift. It left me asking myself – where have all the chivalrous men gone?
I’m not sure about you but when I was a lightie my old man ‘schooled me’ properly, when it came to women and the need to behave courteously. “Manners maketh man” was something he drummed into us, from an early age. And, as a result, we were the type of kids who used to hold doors open for ladies, passing through, give up our bus seats to the elderly, and behaved like little gentlemen wherever we went. Failing to do that would result in a quick, sharp klap to the head, administered by our father, as corrective behaviour, and it always worked!
I believe the act of chivalry has been lost on our youth, and I blame parents and the media for this.
Children mirror behaviour and if dad isn’t a chivalrous type of guy, you can bet your bottom Dollar, little Johny ain’t going to be bothered to let a couple of old ladies exit a lift, before him and his mates barrel on in. As fathers, we owe it to our sons to teach them about chivalry – it’s our duty to bring up strong, well adjusted, well mannered gentlemen. The type of men the father of the bride would be proud to hand his daughter over to.
But, unfortunately, you just don’t see enough of these types of kids or young men anymore. “Manners maketh man” – it’s more like “money maketh man” nowadays and, as a result, we have narcissistic little prats running around, who are so self engrossed that a single act of kindness, or simple awareness is far beyond their narrow little minds.
And then you have the media!
The media has turned the female form into nothing more than a sex object. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a guy’s guy, through and through, and love a good looking chick as much as the next dude. But when scantily clad women are gyrating and twerking on TV and YouTube, you can’t help but think that kids, who are watching this stuff, (especially young impressionable teenage boys) are thinking chicks aren’t much more than a piece of meat, hung up for their pleasure (and who opens up a door for a piece of meat, right?)
And when that type of thinking is engrained in our society, it’s difficult to change the thought pattern back to an older notion – that woman are to be wooed, celebrated and ultimately shown respect.
Back in the Middle Ages, Knights upheld a code of chivalry. It wasn’t good enough to just be a soldier, you needed to uphold a code, a code of conduct, because any barbarian could wield a sword, but a true man lived by a code.
And one of those codes was:-
- To respect the honour of women
Perhaps, it’s time we start reliving that code?